Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 15

Dear Diary,

I know, I know. It's been a long time since I last wrote with my last update, but I've been busy with school and movie and so forth. I relapsed quite a bit when I first came back up to campus. I was sick this last weekend, and I didn't pick at all, which is a huge step for me, because usually I pick more if I don't feel well. My arms were nearly entirely clear, except today I picked a little bit on my shoulders. It's very minor, as far as picking goes, and it should be mostly cleared up by tomorrow. My face is clear though, and it's so nice! Keep me in your prayers as always,

Love,

Elizabeth

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Day 14

Today was one of my better days. I was less tempted to pick and picked a lot less. It was a big accomplishment, considering that it was a stressful day that included a trip to the dentist and a filling. XD Sorry that I don't have too much to say. It's really late and I'm tired. I'll write again tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be so tired.

Keep me in your Prayers,

Elizabeth.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Day 13

Today has been rough. Granted that I haven't been picking as much, I always have the inner struggle with myself when I don't do as well as I wanted to. It's days like these that make me want to just throw in the towel and give up, but if other people can do it, then so can I. I've been though too much for so long to let something as little as a habit ruin my quality of life. No more sulking. Everyday is a new day, and every new day brings a new opportunity to better myself.

Keep me in your prayers,

Elizabeth.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Days 11 & 12

We're just passing the week and a half mark, and the going is getting rough, but I'm not giving in. My self-control is growing. I can feel it. But being back home poses new challenges. Being back home invites me to fall back into routine habits, such as night picking. So far that hasn't happened, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Keep me in your prayers as always.

Love,

Elizabeth.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Days 9 & 10

Day 9, as you may have guessed - no internet access at the hotel. Well, there was supposed to be, but it was only accessible in the lobby, where I really didn't feel like going to to write my personal blog in. So, I'll just catch you all up now.

Yesterday was a little rough, and though I found myself doing better today (I barely picked at all!) I'm finding myself growing lazy. Of course having 4 giant period zits on your face doesn't help the cause either! I've been leaving the zits alone for the most part. I did try to pop them briefly when we got to the hotel a short while ago, but I didn't torment them. Though I probably shouldn't have touched them at all, I'm glad that I am not so tempted to pick at them as much as I used to be. I try to pop them once, and if they don't, I leave them alone. Maybe my brain is finally starting to get the message that if I pick, my skin will get worse. I certainly hope so. This blog has helped me so much to keep my picking problem on the forefront of my mind. I often find myself forgetting about my recovery and  as a result, slipping deeper into the habit. Perhaps your prayers  have something to do with that. That is if anyone even reads this blog! XD Sometimes I have my doubts, but I like to pretend that people do, even if it is just to boost my ego.

Going home tomorrow. It was a great trip. We went to the Smoky Mountains, Virginia Beach, Shenandoah National Park, and loads of places in between! Busy week next week. Have to take my Hamster to the vet, I have to go to the Dr. and to the dentist, and then pack for going back to school next Saturday. Busy, busy, busy!

Until next time, keep me in your prayers.

Love,

Elizabeth. 

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Days 6,7, and 8

So sorry for the delay, everyone! I was too tired on day 6 and no internet on day 7. These last few days have been rough, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's been stressful. Day 6 was probably my best day so far, though! I didn't pick at all and spent the entire day at the beach in my new 2 piece swimsuit. Day 7 was a roughest. I was stressed, and I kept catching myself picking. I've struggled a bit today, because I have 3 blind zits on my face, and they hurt so badly! I've been working very hard to keep my mind and my hands off of my skin and those zits. I'm making progress, and though I may have some rough days, I take heart in my strides forward and the promise of the future.

I don't know where I'll be tomorrow on this crazy road trip, so we'll see if I have access to the internet. If not, I'll just keep working on my writing.  I have written quite a bit over the last 3 days, more than I have in a long time. It sure keeps my hands busy!

Well, It's late and I'm very tired. Have a good night and a good day tomorrow, everyone. And as always, I ask that you continue to keep me in your prayers.

Love,

Elizabeth. 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Day 4 & 5

So sorry not to have written last night. We got into the hotel late, and after 7 hours in the car, the last thing I wanted to do was write. The last couple of days have been very successful! If any of you are praying, it's working! I've been finding new ways of keeping my hands busy in the car: word searches, crochet, etc. I've barely picked at all today, aside from a couple spots on my shoulders, where I had broken out last week. My goal is to stop all intentional picking by the end of September, and at this rate, I think it's possible!

I urge you all to keep on praying for me in my recovery, and I will write again soon, hopefully tomorrow night. I'd love to write more now, but I have a headache and really need to get some sleep. Goodnight, everyone!

Love,

Elizabeth

Friday, August 10, 2012

Day 3

I am happy to report that today went much better than the previous two. My skin has really broken out these last couple days. Thank you very much, hormones. I popped a couple zits, but I mean in a strict sense, just a couple very small ones that had come to a head. I hope I can do just as well this next week, while I'm on vacation. If my shoulders clear up in a day or so, that'd be great! I'll be wearing a 2 piece at the beach all week.

Thank you for reading up! I'll try to be updating every night this week, though I will not be home, ,but assuming I will have internet access at the hotel, I certainly will.

As always, please keep praying for me in my recovery,

Love,

Elizabeth

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Day 2

Another okay day. It was just okay, maybe a little better than yesterday. I only went after my skin once today, and they were pimples, not things made up by my imagination. That's something to be grateful for, I guess. My hair was pretty greasy today, or at least more greasy than it should have been. I usually wash my hair every other day, since it's unhealthy to wash it everyday,  but I've never had it get so nasty overnight before. I didn't use conditioner, either. Weird....

Leaving on vacation soon. We're headed to the East coast on a road trip. Even more reason to let my shoulders clear up. There's only a few spots, but I'm wearing a 2-piece this year. Can you believe that? My skin is finally clear enough that  I can wear one! Thank God!

That's all for now. Please continue to pray for me!

Love,

Elizabeth

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Day One

So today would have been considered a really good day a couple weeks ago, and it would have been considered a miracle 2 years ago, but from where I am now, it was merely an okay kind of day, as far as picking is concerned. I did pick, but not as much as I have been, as of late, and it's thanks to this blog. Because when I thought of picking, I thought, Do I want t have to write about this in my blog? Of course I wouldn't want to do that. No one wants to publicly admit their wrongs, but I promised myself to be 100% honest here. The only way I wouldn't have to admit my shortcomings, was if I overcame them before I acted upon them. That means, don't pick and you won't have to tell people about it.

I found a new tactic to help reduce the impulse to pick. It may not work for everyone, but I found that wearing makeup greatly reduces my impulse to pick. I don't like the texture of makeup-covered skin under my fingertips. It feels greasy (though the makeup I use is oil-free to help prevent breakouts) and gross to the touch. It naturally repels me.

It's almost that time of month again, accompanied with the all too predictable breakout. As if I needed anymore temptation.

On a side note, anyone watching the Olympics? I think I'm living and breathing that stuff now. Well there's really nothing else to do, when you're an unemployed college student living at home for the summer, there's really nothing else to do. Hopefully I'll be able to find work when I go back up to school in a couple weeks.
Well, that's all. Until next time!

Love,

Elizabeth

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

About this Blog

For the past years, since I really broke out with acne as an adolescent, I've had the compulsive urges to pick at the bumps on my skin. I used to spend up to 20 minutes in the bathroom, searching for and picking at pimples. The habit has taken a bigger hit on my self-esteem than my skin, which is saying something.
I've come a long way since middle school. Now going into my sophomore year of college, I spend no more than 2 minutes in front of the mirror a day, on a bad day. On a good day, I may not even look in the mirror at all. That is something to thank God for.

I've joined a site of people with similar habits called "Stoppickingonme.org" It's an amazing site that is a huge support for people with compulsive skin-picking. So why this blog then? I need a sense of being accountable. I don't like to talk to people I come into contact with in my day-to-day life about my shameful behaviors, but I need to feel like I'm being held accountable by people other than myself.

I will post my progress here in this blog, starting tomorrow. Your comments and encouragement is deeply appreciated and welcomed. 

Until tomorrow, my readers, I shall pray. If you find it in your heart, I would appreciate your prayers as well. 

Love, 

Elizabeth